Hurt me once, shame on you. Hurt me twice, shame on me.

You know how they say that you can't truly realize how much a person means to you until you lose them? Well that is absolutely true. But you know, I've recently discovered another similar phenomena. You don't truly know how much a person can hurt you, until they screw you over...for the second time. One thing that I've learned about love, is that oh boy can it mess you up. Not even the love itself, but the subject that you're experiencing this absolutely devouring feeling towards. The reason why I say devouring is because it totally devours your life. Remember the life you had before you fell in love? Well forget it. Because want it or not, it will never be the same again.Unfortunately some things are out of our control. Like ex boyfriends that screw you over whenever they get a chance to, and use your relationship as an ass wipe. Amigos, let me tell you something. Never, ever go back to a someone that hurt you even once. And by hurt I don't mean forgot your birthday (people are sometimes oblivious, they forget those things) but I mean really left a big, gashing wound that no matter how many doctors(or in some cases psychotherapists) you go to, will still bleed. If it happened once, it will happen twice. And if it happened twice, then oh boy will it happen over and over and over again. One of the biggest universal truths is that, unfortunately, people don't change. They may adjust their ways of being for a short period of time, but sooner or later they will go back to their old, selfish selves, and you will find yourself turning into that sappy little sad girl, trying to figure out where did it all go wrong. And after hours, days, or maybe even weeks of figuring it out, you will realize that it was always leading up to that epic fail. And the only reason you didn't stop it is because you were so ridiculously in love that you were afraid to let go of something so precious. Or at least something you thought was precious. You always subconsciously knew that it won't end well, but that little, optimistic b*tch called hope was still whispering "come on, what have you got to lose?" Yeah totally! Besides sleepless weeks, dead nerve cells, hair, weight(which is not so bad, right?) and most importantly my dignity, I have nothing to lose. So  please, do yourselves a favor and love yourselves. Put yourselves before anyone else, because trust me, the more you respect yourself, the more respected you will be by everyone around you. And also, if you ever find someone who will make you genuinely happy without being a selfish prick, do whatever you can to keep them, because those people are worth the fight, the rest, are not.

A.Z