Something about me

So why is that all I’ve been writing about on this blog is relationships? Is it because I’m heart broken? Is it because writing helps me cope with my emotions? Who knows… But I do have to admit that this is pretty fun. However unfortunately I don’t always have time to write. Here’s something about me: I’m a full time fashion student that has a dream of one day becoming an international Creative Director. So a lot of my free time is dedicated to studying, researching and experiencing this chaotic, eccentric, incredible world. I was born and raised in Ukraine, and so far, I’ve moved around about 6 times.I currently live in the most incredible, the most fast paced and at times the most lonely city, and that is of course New York. I fluently speak 3 languages and hopefully one day I will speak at least 5. So yeah, these are some random facts about me. Even though my life is definitely not your average American-teen life, I gotta say…it’s pretty awesome and I always try to make the best out of what I got.  Stay casual amigos. And always look on the bright side. 
-A.Z

Hurt me once, shame on you. Hurt me twice, shame on me.

You know how they say that you can't truly realize how much a person means to you until you lose them? Well that is absolutely true. But you know, I've recently discovered another similar phenomena. You don't truly know how much a person can hurt you, until they screw you over...for the second time. One thing that I've learned about love, is that oh boy can it mess you up. Not even the love itself, but the subject that you're experiencing this absolutely devouring feeling towards. The reason why I say devouring is because it totally devours your life. Remember the life you had before you fell in love? Well forget it. Because want it or not, it will never be the same again.Unfortunately some things are out of our control. Like ex boyfriends that screw you over whenever they get a chance to, and use your relationship as an ass wipe. Amigos, let me tell you something. Never, ever go back to a someone that hurt you even once. And by hurt I don't mean forgot your birthday (people are sometimes oblivious, they forget those things) but I mean really left a big, gashing wound that no matter how many doctors(or in some cases psychotherapists) you go to, will still bleed. If it happened once, it will happen twice. And if it happened twice, then oh boy will it happen over and over and over again. One of the biggest universal truths is that, unfortunately, people don't change. They may adjust their ways of being for a short period of time, but sooner or later they will go back to their old, selfish selves, and you will find yourself turning into that sappy little sad girl, trying to figure out where did it all go wrong. And after hours, days, or maybe even weeks of figuring it out, you will realize that it was always leading up to that epic fail. And the only reason you didn't stop it is because you were so ridiculously in love that you were afraid to let go of something so precious. Or at least something you thought was precious. You always subconsciously knew that it won't end well, but that little, optimistic b*tch called hope was still whispering "come on, what have you got to lose?" Yeah totally! Besides sleepless weeks, dead nerve cells, hair, weight(which is not so bad, right?) and most importantly my dignity, I have nothing to lose. So  please, do yourselves a favor and love yourselves. Put yourselves before anyone else, because trust me, the more you respect yourself, the more respected you will be by everyone around you. And also, if you ever find someone who will make you genuinely happy without being a selfish prick, do whatever you can to keep them, because those people are worth the fight, the rest, are not.

A.Z

That beautiful china vase

Whether you want it or not, at least once in your life time you will be left broken hearted. For some people like moi, it unfortunately happened more than once. But after a few..weeks of self-analyzing, watching sappy love movies and sitting at home in hope of a miracle, I realized that the only way I will get that miracle is by getting out of my house and enjoying life. Honestly I never imagined myself being that typical broken hearted girl, who sits at home and wallows in her own misery. For a small blonde chick I always had a lot of attitude and strength, mainly because my life had been bumpy for a while. And who could've thought that a silly little boy,yes a boy, could break something I've been building for such a long time. Love is a scary thing my friends. When you devote yourself to a person you basically have a 50% chance of being left broken hearted. It's like when you buy a beautiful china vase. You spend months or even years looking for that one special vase, and when you finally find it, you spend a fortune on not just the vase, but also the special little stand, the installation and whatever else you need to make sure it doesn't fall and break. But guess what, shit happens. Time passes and you kinda forget about how much you spent on that vase, you forget how much it meant to you at that moment, and it's just standing there without anyone paying attention to it. Then one day, someone accidentally pushes it and it breaks. And yeah, you can try to glue it back together but it will never be the same again. All you have left is the memory of how beautiful it once was. The same thing with love. You spend years looking for something special, and then when you find it you give your all to that one person. But time passes, and the vase breaks. The love falls apart. And all you have left is the memory. But what you don't realize at that moment is that there are plenty of other vases out there, that might not be the same, but are just as beautiful and maybe made out of a better material that won't break so easily. Something that will shine on everyday and remind you of how beautiful it is. There's this Russian saying that goes like:" the only way to cure a broken heart is by falling in love again." So don't give up. Just because you've been hurt before doesn't mean things won't get better. I don't know if everything happens for a reason, but what I do know is that every bad experience is a lesson. And the more you learn, the wiser you get. So keep your head up, and keep smiling. Because as Marilyn Monroe once said: " life is a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about."
A.Z

So where exactly do you find a prince?

 Since I was a kid I always dreamed of finding my perfect "prince". And let's be honest, how many of you ladies out there haven't dreamed of finding your perfect prince? Finding your love and living happily ever after is basically the idea that we've all been exposed to since we were toddlers. Think about all those Disney movies such as: Cinderella, The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, and a bunch of others. The main concept of those movies is not to get a pretty pink dress and probably incredibly painful glass shoes from your fairy godmother(although that would be cool), or to fly places on a strange-looking, Persian,magic carpet. The one common point that all those movies make, is that the only way you can become a princess is by finding that one and only.That prince who will sweep you off your feet and be there for you for the rest of your life. And of course there's nothing wrong with dreaming about that perfect prince, because for some lucky ones, fairy tales do happen (ahem..Kate Middleton), but for others, like myself, fairy tales can turn into big, fat reality checks. And the so called "prince", may end up turning into a lying, selfish frog. But hey, don't let that one frog stop you from being a princess! First of all, no matter how much I love and respect Disney movies, but the fact that you can't become a princess without a prince is a huge misconception. We're in the 21st Century dammit! And also, just because you had a few bad, froggy experiences, doesn't mean you will never meet that one and only. Just don't turn your life into a constant search for him.
So here's my advice: stop looking for the perfect prince, but instead,treat yourself like royalty. And I promise you, the second you stop looking, is the second that so called prince will barge into your life and take over your kingdom. So for now, just enjoy your life, have fun and stay classy.
Adios amigos.
A.Z