The problem is the lightbulb, not the house.

Instant gratification. The two words that describe Generation Y. If we want a brand new shiny bag-we can order it within a minute. If we get sick of our old shoes-the new pair is only a click away. When it comes to material things, nothing is irreplaceable. But is it really only material things? According to Tinder, Bumble and all the other dating apps, your true love is only one swipe away. And while I have absolutely nothing against dating apps because I met my boyfriend on one of them, I do have a problem with the way dating apps have been affecting the way we perceive love. "Find your perfect match", "All you've ever wanted" and etc. are the slogans for modern day "app dating". We are conditioned to perceive love as something that is absolutely flawless and if it's not-then go ahead and swipe again. It's that easy isn't it? Someone I know once compared modern relationships to a house. And the exact words were "Back in the days when a lightbulb went out you just fixed the lightbulb. Now people buy a whole new house". And why? Because of damn instant gratification. Because we think that if something is wrong with the relationship then there will be something better out there and ain't nobody got the time to fix whatever is wrong with this one. My great grandparents lived together for almost 50 years, until my great grandpa passed away. Let's be real, two people living under the same roof for 50 years-not everything must've been perfect. But when the lightbulb went out-they fixed it and didn't irrationally start looking for a whole new better house, because guess what? Lightbulbs are lightbulbs and they will malfunction but why buy a new house when you already built this one with your sweat and tears? I guess the only thing I can say to conclude this is that if you've found someone you truly, deeply care for, but something in your relationship isn't working exactly how you'd ideally want it to-go out and buy a lightbulb, and don't go searching for a whole new house. Because there's a difference between a house, and a home. 

Love yourself. Do you accept the challenge?

  

As both the Holiday Season and this year come to an end, we all start jotting down a mile-long list of New Year's Resolutions. Some of us want to start saving money so we can finally buy that Prada purse we’ve been looking at for a few months; some want to start going to the gym, instead of binge-watching shows on Netflix; some want to finally drop everything and go on year-long euro trip, which will most likely result in reckless, yet most memorable decisions of their lives; and some want to simply find someone to love and be loved back. 

All of these, and a million more resolutions sound great in theory, but if you tell me that you follow through with every single New Year's Resolution you make, then you’re a little liar.

New Year's Resolutions are great and very inspiring if you ask me, but the problem is that they don’t last longer than a week. Or in some very persistent cases a month. Life is life, na naa na na na. And it gets in the way of us trying to keep up with the promises we made ourselves on the 31^st of December, after finishing our 6^th (which btw is not even close to last) glass of champagne.

So instead of writing out long lists of things I want to change and improve in my life, this year I’ve decided to take a different route and have one, only one New Year's Resolution, and that is, to love myself. Here’s why:

Loving yourself means staying in good shape.

If you truly care for yourself, you will get up at 7am and go to the gym. And if you’re anything like me, it will be painfully hard, and you will cry and your body will tremble, but after a week or two of doing it, you will feel like taking over the world. Your random aches and pains will go away, and the feeling of your body slowly falling apart will forever vanish. 

Loving yourself means having good relationships in your life.

And in this case I mean friendships and relationships with your family. If you want yourself to be happy, you will surround yourself will positive people. And of course, we all have our ups and downs and just because someone is going through a rough patch DOES NOT mean you should drop them. But if you surround yourself with constantly nagging, annoying, negative people, you will too become a Negative Nancy. We don’t choose the family we are born into, but we can choose not to be a part of horrible Thanksgiving Dinner fights, and go play with our adorable baby cousins instead.

Loving yourself means being ambitious.

To me, life is a constant lesson. The more I experience, the more I grow as a person. And the more I grow as a person, the more ambitious I become. I personally love and respect myself enough to think that I can achieve whatever it is a want to achieve. However there is always room for improvement. According to my grandmother "we learn until we die", and I wholeheartedly agree. And no matter how many times I fall flat on my face, I get up and go, because failure is not an option.

Loving yourself means giving.

Giving is gaining. And the more you give to your community, to the society we live in, or simply to your friends and family, the better you will feel about yourself. We all go through times of confusion, when nothing matters and everything seems pointless. Find something you stand for, something you believe in, and find a way to contribute. Whether it’s a local dance studio, Autism Awareness Group, or a local shelter, if it means something to you -contribute. Trust me.

Loving yourself means respecting your beliefs.

I’ve dated guys who didn’t understand my background, my beliefs or what I stand for. And I have to admit, my beliefs and my life are pretty complicated. Because of that I always felt like there was something wrong with me. Like I didn’t fit in, like I had to prove myself worthy to someone. And after a few pretty horrible experiences, I realized that I am proud of what I stand for. I know what my background means to me, and if you are not willing to at least try to understand it, then adios amigo. Accept who you are and accept the life you were given, don't stress over things you cannot change. When someone is right for you, they will love you despite your flaws and complications.

Basically, the point of all of this, is that before you go on trying to change your life, your relationships, your weight or your hair color, ask yourself one question: Do you love yourself for who you are and for what you stand for? Let me know how it goes. ;)

Happy New Year! 

open your soul,you're not a paper doll

If there was one thing that I've learned over the past 20 years of my life (besides the Pythagorean theorem that no matter how hard I try will most likely never leave my brain), it would be that true happiness does not rely on money or beauty. People tend to think that with money that can now buy beauty will come internal satisfaction, but in my opinion, it is not the case. Take Marilyn Monroe as an example: basically THE sex symbol of the century who is still adored by millions, an icon whose legacy carries to this day, a man magnet who could get anyone or anything she ever wanted, and a beauty queen who ended her life on a very tragic note. And Marilyn Monroe is just one worldly known example, but just think about how many beautiful women (both internally and externally), who seem like they have everything, in reality are truly unhappy. But wait, how could she try to commit suicide when she tweeted that she’s

#MadExcitedToTurnUp? Our society has come to the point where happiness is defined by the amount of Instagram followers and beauty is measured by the amount of likes under your picture. We constantly have to prove to the world that we indeed do have a social life by posting a million pictures with our "besties" and "sisters for life" to whom in reality we barely even talk to. We always try to measure up to some unachievable fucked up standards, and by doing so we forget what we truly are. By constantly putting up this facade our generation is slowly starting to forget where true happiness does lie. And that sacred but unfortunately forgotten place is simply called a soul. Remember that word? With all the superficiality that's being constantly installed in us by the social media, our interest to dig deeper is slowly drifting away. So no wonder why depression rates in the United States are higher than ever before. The difference between human beings and paper dolls is that besides outer appearance humans have something to them on the inside as well…or at least should have something to them. So, my darlings, my advice for tonight is very simple, dig deeper, or you will turn into a paper doll. 

A.Z

The only option is to love.

  Everybody wants to be loved. Knowing that someone out there is willing to do anything and everything just to make you happy is definitely the second best feeling in the world. And in my opinion, the first place goes to being in love. There is nothing more fulfilling, more awakening, and more inspiring than that internal fire that burns and warms up your soul at the same time. It may drive you crazy, but life would be so boring without a little craziness. Or in some cases, a lot craziness. Without love, there is no movement, no future, no nothing. At least that’s how I see it. Most of us fall in love at least once in our lifetime, and even if love fades or goes away, we carry those memories for the rest of our lives and beyond. They say for a reason that true love never dies and I truly believe that. When in love, people tend to be happier, more compassionate, more forgiving; and those three qualities are what make love eternal. I too, was in love, and even though my love died a slow, painful death, the memory of that feeling is what keeps me moving every day, hoping that one day I will experience it again. And it doesn’t have to happen today or tomorrow, or even next month. Everything in life has it’s own right time and right place. Maybe my time hasn’t come yet, but I know that that internal fire will spark again, and even if it completely burns my soul to ashes, it will be worth it.  Worth all the sleepless nights, the endless days and the infinite memories. And if you’ve never experienced that feeling, please know, that you haven’t experienced it YET. One day, it will hit you, and it will hit you hard. But you can’t prepare for it; because the more you prepare the longer you’ll have to wait. Just enjoy your life, and let love happen. 

-A.Z

Naked soul

    Since I was a little kid I never had a problem with expressing my emotions. Whether it was crying, screaming, laughing, or expressing love towards someone, I never really tried to contain myself. Not that I would always throw a tantrum if something didn’t go my way, I mean I still was a pretty well-behaved child, but I always made it clear to anyone around me why and what exactly made me upset. The same goes for positive emotions and feelings. Even when I was in kindergarten I didn’t have a problem with letting the cutest guy in the group know that I liked him by drawing him a really odd looking Valentine’s Day card that looked more like a horror movie scene. And even if I was rejected, at least I tried! Now that I think about it, he was too old for me anyway, I was 4 and he was almost 6. What were you thinking Anna? The point that I’m trying to make is that I was always blunt with my feelings. And as I got older, I realized that not everyone around me shared my beliefs of emotional exposure. In our society, the less emotion you show, the better. Unless you’re showing your body parts, cause that’s totally cool with everyone. So I decided that maybe filtering myself is the right thing to do. But is it? How can you contain something that is literally tearing you apart from within? As I got even older, I tried to understand why our society works like that and why is it more ok to show your boobs than your feelings. And the answer is simple. It’s easier and it’s safer. By expressing your emotions you’re exposing your soul, and once it’s exposed, you can’t cover it up with clothes. Recently in my Public Speaking class, my professor brought up a great point of how the biggest problem in our society is lack of communication. Think about how many times you’ve gotten into a fight with someone because of misunderstanding or misinterpretation of something you or someone else said? I know that I’ve had cases when I fought with someone for hours just to come to a conclusion that the both of us misunderstood each other’s intentions. So basically I’ve wasted hours of my precious life on nothing. Literally nothing. But all of that could’ve been avoided if we simply expressed our feelings in a proper way to begin with. People like to beat around the bush and for some reason are afraid to say things how they are.  My favorite stories are the ones when people love each other for like 20 years but they’re too afraid to say it. So they end up pretending like everything’s cool until they hit midlife crisis and realize everything in their lives could’ve been different if they told that someone they loved them back then. So to conclude this little entry, I have one thing to say. If you love someone, let them know. Let them know in the most ridiculous, soul exposing way you can possibly think of. Or if you have something to say to someone, say it now. Because who knows what might happen tomorrow. Express your feeling and don’t be afraid to expose your soul, because at the end, that will be all we have left. 
A.Z